Jesus Understands Your Church Hurt

"He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him."

-John 1:11 ESV

"Church hurt" are two words that I wish were never put together. They don't belong together. And yet I can't explain to you how many stories I've heard that can only be described as church hurt.

Now, do some describe their experiences as "church hurt" when it is really just pastors and leaders seeking to disciple and shepherd their people away from sin? Yes, it happens. Other times, perhaps, a pastor has simply made a mistake or not handled a situation well. (Pastors are humans too!) Sadly, these poor shepherds are sometimes looped into the spiritual abuse crowd.

However, on the other hand, there are some pastors who repeatedly injure and hurt people and go on to defend their actions and describe what they are doing as discipling and shepherding people. (In fact, just today I heard one pastor on YouTube saying this very thing who has had a podcast made about his leadership in which numerous spiritual abuses were documented.) If church leaders leave a wake of carnage behind them, then I find it difficult to describe what they are doing as shepherding and pastoring people. I'm not sure if these cases are a lack of self-awareness, lack of maturity, misplaced motives and ambition, or if they are actually wolves leading in the church. (Only the Lord knows the true spiritual status, motives, and intentions of the heart.)

So, my conclusion is that the phrase "church hurt" is a difficult one. Sometimes things may be called "church hurt" that are not in fact church hurt. Other times, however, things that should be considered church hurt are dismissed, defended, and dusted under the rug.

People who are unaware of either of these sides of the issue may dismiss the other side. For example, if you think everyone claiming church hurt is just complaining about good leadership, then you'll probably dismiss a lot of people who have gone through some truly horrific things in churches. Conversely, if you think everyone claiming church hurt has truly experienced horrific things in the church, then you'll probably coddle and console some people who have been confronted because of ongoing unrepentant sin, weren't allowed to manipulate church leadership, weren't able to serve in some desired manner, etc. The plot thickens.

With these things being said, many people who I've heard use the phrase "church hurt" seemed to truly go through difficult situations that caused them significant pain. It has grieved me that some have left the church and even the Christian faith because of these situations. Therefore, my purpose in writing this blog is simply to show this: Jesus understands your church hurt.

Why? Consider these five Scriptures.

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#1: Jesus came to the world that was made through him, but he was rejected by the people he made.

[Jhn 1:10-11 ESV] 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11 He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.

#2: Jesus was not only despised and rejected, he carried the sins of people who rejected him.

[Isa 53:3-6 ESV] 3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned--every one--to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

#3: Jesus was not only rejected by his generation, but he also suffered in many ways (including his brutal death led by the religious leaders).

[Luk 17:25 ESV] 25 But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation.

#4: Jesus carried the weight of compassion when he saw people who were "harassed and helpless" and "like sheep without a shepherd."

[Mat 9:36-38 ESV] 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; 38 therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."

#5: Jesus experienced large crowds abandoning him.

[Jhn 6:66-67 ESV] 66 After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. 67 So Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?"

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Jesus experienced more hurt and brutality from religious people than we ever will. In fact, the note from the ESV Study Bible on John 1:11 states that the Jewish rejection of Jesus the Messiah is "one of the major emphases of the Gospel."[1] So, Jesus understands your church hurt.

If you find yourself wandering around in the spiritually dry, disillusioning desert of church hurt, then don't leave Jesus. I know that the path out of it doesn't seem clear. I know it has rocked you to your core. I know that it doesn't make sense in your brain.

But don't assume that Jesus is taking the side of the church or leader(s) who have hurt you. Worse, don't assume that he would do the same thing to you that they did.

Jesus understands church hurt deeply. He lived it. Maybe he has his eyes upon you today as one of his people for whom he feels deep compassion. Maybe he looks at you as one of his sheep without a shepherd.

Read Scripture. Pray. Sing worship songs. Get counseling. Attend worship at church. Stay close to him in the season of church hurt. He will bring you through it.

(If you are currently navigating church hurt or are going through a season of healing from church hurt and would like me to pray for you, then please submit a prayer request by clicking the "Contact" tab.)

End Notes:

[1] ESV Study Bible (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2008), 2019.