Are You a Harsh Person?

Recently, a book that I was reading referred to a particular Hebrew word that shows up quite a few times in the Old Testament. The word is pronounced "qasheh," and basically, the word means to be harsh or stubborn.

Sometimes we can come across in a harsh and stubborn manner to the people around us. This attitude could show up in parenting, family, friendship, work, leadership, social media, church, and I suppose, just about anywhere else. There is an almost endless number of ways harsh stubbornness can show up in our lives.

Here is a quick overview of the word.

A Quick Snapshot of the Hebrew Word "Qasheh"

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Hebrew:

קָשֶׁה

pronounced: "qasheh"

meaning: "hard, harsh, difficult, fierce; stubborn, stiff(-necked), obstinate"[1]

appears: 36 times

Here are a few of the most common ways it is translated:

• It can be used to describe speaking to someone harshly.

  • Joseph spoke "roughly" to his brothers (Gen. 42:7).

  • Saul answered Jonathan "roughly" (1 Sam. 20:10).

  • The king answered "harshly" (1 Ki. 12:13).

• It can be used to describe harsh work given to people.

  • Pharoah gave "hard" labor and slavery to the Israelites (Exo. 1:14; 6:9).

  • Solomon put "hard" service on some (1 Ki. 12:4).

  • Isaiah describes "hard" service as well (Isa. 14:3).

  • Having a harsh leader can be considered a punishment from the Lord (Isa. 19:4).

• It can be used to describe stubborn, stiff-necked, and idolatrous people.

  • God calls the people who created a golden calf and worshiped it "stiff-necked" (Exo. 32:9).

  • Moses calls the Israelites "stubborn" (Deu. 31:27).

  • Ezekiel describes "stubborn" people with "stubborn" hearts (Ezek. 2:4; 3:7).

• It can be used to describe character.

  • Harshness can be a character attribute (see 1 Sam. 25:3).

  • Sometimes it is contrasted with gentleness (2 Sam. 3:39).

• It can be used to describe harsh life experiences.

  • Job had days that were "hard" (Job 30:25).

  • Psalm 60 describes seeing and experiencing "hard" things (Psa. 60:3).

  • It can be used to describe a "fierce" battle (2 Sam. 2:17).

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Why is this relevant? Because sometimes we can come across harshly. In the New Testament, loving God and others (Matt. 22:37-40), the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23), and the qualification for being a leader in the church (1 Tim. 3) contrast with "qasheh".

Being stiff-necked and idolatrous isn't loving toward God. Speaking harshly isn't loving toward people. Giving a harsh amount of work isn't loving employees. Giving harsh feedback is not helpful. Parenting harshly isn't loving. Harshness cannot exist alongside love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). Leaders in the church who are harsh should not be leaders in the church; that is, elders who are not gentle but violent and quarrelsome are not qualified to be elders (1 Tim. 3:3).

In our present context, sometimes we justify our harsh behavior by saying, “That is my personality profile according to ______ personality test.” In fact, in some Christian circles, a personality that is prone to treating people in a harsh manner is precisely what we are looking for in emerging leaders. Scripture doesn’t permit that excuse.

With that being said . . .

• Are you speaking harshly to someone (e.g., spouse, child, coworker, boss, employee, friend, another driver, neighbor, etc.)?

• Are you treating someone in your life harshly?

• Is there some idol that God is putting his finger on and saying that you're being "stiff-necked" about it?

I know; only Jesus can perfectly pass this test. Thankfully though, Jesus lived a perfect life in our place, died in our place, and resurrected from the grave so that we can be forgiven for our harshness and stubbornness (if we believe).

Now, let's get rid of the qasheh and live with kindness and gentleness. If you’re a Christian, the Spirit is already doing that in you and forming Christlike character in you.

Churches, let’s find and develop leaders who are gentle and lowly, like Jesus, so our churches can also become gentle and lowly. I’m afraid that, instead, we have often sought qasheh leaders who model and form harshness in our churches.

What could kindness and gentleness look like in your home, workplace, church, social media feed, and neighborhood?

End Notes:

[1] William D. Mounce, gen. ed., Mounce's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old & New Testament Words (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006), 1037.